The unspoken words

Posted by Jeya Balaji

After going through counseling course, I was looking around to use the skills.  Through my wife's contact, I came to know about a family desperately in need of counseling.  They had reached out to many services but the problem still persist.

The man in the family is not speaking for 11 years.  His wife is trying all possible ways to recover him.

While hearing about this person, I was thinking what strategy I should apply to a man who is not interactive.  I was thinking on this line and approached their home.

It is a small village beyond Thondamuthur.  I ventured into the place with my wife.  It is Saturday, 29th Feb 2020, time about 3pm.

A pleasant surprise was, against my expectations, the man was talking.  The chief complain was that he stopped talking to family members.  He rarely speaks to others.  He is a man of less words.

I started talking to him and his wife.  Slowly brought a friendly atmosphere.  Made him comfortable.

Requested him to have a private chat.  We moved to their room from the hall.  I started asking him more about him.  (To my surprise, I was able to have a conversation with a stranger without much of block).  Our discussion revolved around his childhood, happy moments, fear, ambition.

With that, I was able to figure goals and made a contract.  Few more steps, marched towards goals and action items on his part.

Good amount of stroking helped to open up and talk from his heart.

We arrived at a closure with clear understanding of future plans.

I discussed with his wife along with him and reinforced what he had promised to do. I believe he will do what he had promised, for him, and for his family.


Followup - two days later, I called the family to check the progress.  The man had started talking to his children in a good manner.  That is a big success with the counseling effort.  He is hesitant going out to work.